Don't. Just Don't. Impressed yet? No?
Okay. Well if you play I'll beat you almost to death with a half rotten skunk. With luck pieces of it will be dislodged and get stuck into your face, preferably teeth and eyes so that while you are crying tears of pain, you will also have rotten skunk chunks in your teeth preventing you from crying out in fear and sadness. Consequently no one will know of your distress and you will die alone, crying, sad and reeking of skunk.
Impress me.